Looking for love?
Start with fulfilling friendships
Focusing on finding romantic love can be frustrating, elusive, and sometimes counterproductive. So if you are affected by Valentine’s Day Blues, Valentine’s Day FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), or even if you long ago gave up caring about this particular U.S. holiday, maybe It’s a good time to take a look at the friendships in your life. It’s meaningful relationships of all kinds that bring fulfillment to our lives. So let’s take this moment to remind ourselves to build and maintain meaningful relationships.
Ask yourself
Do you have ENOUGH friendships in your life? Some would say that you can never have enough friends but real friendships are two way streets that take time and energy.
Do you have enough MEANINGFUL friendships in your life? Friendships that fulfill you, make you smile, and support you in times of need.
Do you, sadly, have to fill holes left by friends lost to death, illness, or distance?
In the article, How to Find Friends and Fight Loneliness After 60, you will find some good information and practical steps to help with this process.
Embrace Your Passions Instead of Chasing New Relationships
What are you passionate about? Instead of focusing on finding new relationships with people, do things that you love doing or try something that you have always wanted to do. For example:
- Take a Class, learn something new
- Join a Book/TV/Movie Club
- Travel
- Volunteer
- Become a Docent, share your knowledge
- Join a fitness class
- Join a support group
- Start a walking group
- Attend Religious Services or Events
Don’t Limit Yourself
Don’t limit yourself to people who are “your age.” Be open to meeting people of all ages and genders. This will enrich your life with new perspectives.
Yes, It Can Be Scary
Realize that the person across the room is likely just as scared to approach you as you are to approach them. We all assume that we are the only one nervous about striking up a conversation. As long as you are in a safe public place, the worst that can happen is that you find no connection with the person.
Break the Ice by Asking a Question: Strike Up a Conversation
There are numerous lists of Conversation Starters on the internet. Here are a few to get you started:
- How long have you been coming to (fill in the blank)?
- Are you having a good time?
- Why did you come tonight?
- Do you know a lot of people here?
- I like your shirt/jacket/shoes. Where did you get it?
- What is your favorite restaurant around here?
- If you weren’t here, what would you be doing right now?
- The food looks great! What’s the best thing you’ve had so far?
Keep the Momentum Going: Schedule It!
The acquaintance will not turn into a deeper friendship without putting in some effort. Yes, friendships are two way streets but you may need to put forth a little extra effort until a pattern for the friendship is established. Reach out and schedule a “friend date.”
Finally, while it may take some time and may be a little scary, quality friendships boost our emotional and physical health. They enrich our lives in innumerable ways.
Joanne Bedwell, PT is the Resident Blogger at Be Active Be Well. She lives and works in San Francisco with her husband and two (almost) grown daughters. Having over 25 years of experience as a PT, she sees clients in their homes and teaches fitness classes in person and virtually.
DISCLAIMER: This article contains information that is intended to help the readers be better informed. It is presented as general advice. Always consult your doctor for your individual needs. This article is not intended to be a substitute for the medical or mental health advice of a licensed professional.
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