This blog is a journey through reflections on my life, offering the wisdom of hindsight and the ongoing pursuit of personal growth, no matter your age.
Reflecting on an 88 year old body and what I wish I had known and acted on sooner, leads to thinking about an 88 year old life. With a backward view, there are insights I wish I could share with my younger self; truths gained the hard way. Since I can’t share them with my younger self, I will share them with you, hoping you can benefit from my experience.
Stop! Consider the impact on yourself.
I grew up believing it was best to not show a need for love and understanding. As a result, I become self-reliant and internally strong; in charge of my own life. My way forward was achievement; in school and work. I saw myself as a rising spirit, with a good mind, a good body, and a strong will. While these are all wonderful and admirable qualities that contributed to my success, this behavior and belief system also produced limitations and unnecessary narrowness. And, more importantly, it didn’t include considering the long term impact on me!
Set aside being Super Woman. Too hard. Too damaging. Not necessary.
Being Super Woman was my modus operandi. Never failing. Always excelling. Jumping off cliffs and landing on my feet. –Ha! – Looking back I see more clearly the rewards and the costs. The satisfaction of years of success; the buildup of damage. A body made wonky by demanding too much of it. Lives affected by my intense focus. Opportunities missed for a bigger life. Today I acknowledge Super Woman as a piece of me. Just that.
Failure is Inevitable
At some point failure occurs. And it often does so with a shattering crash. After the wallowing, rebuilding of self and life begins. Failure has been my greatest teacher.
Accept Love and Give Love!
True happiness and satisfaction comes from fulfilling relationships. Learning to accept love and to give love is integral with trust. Deep, committed, ongoing love cannot survive without trust. Those who helped me with these life truths (and endured me as I struggled) are in my heart and head all the time; family and close friends. I wouldn’t know how to fully love and how to receive it without them.
Associate with the genuinely wise and expert. Listen, talk, and take what is useful.
I’ve had the opportunity to encounter people who are genuinely wise, interesting, and expert. They expand my world as I listen, learn, discuss, work side by side, and yes, sometimes argue. They are great resources and provide inspiration. Be wary of those who are not genuine. They sound good and look good, but following their models can produce disastrous results.
Understand that good health is an opportunity
I now understand good health, in its many forms, is an opportunity. Not a given. An opportunity to continually protect and enhance. I’ve over-relied on the strong genetic gifts I started out with. Now, thanks to the right people, increased knowledge, and steady application, I am supporting what I have and adjusting to what appears to be unrecoverable.
It is such irony that just as I have adjusted to some reduced function and think I’ve got it licked for the foreseeable future, something else happens that is a new issue. The universe laughs and I get the joke.
Welcome Joy and Tend to the Joy Givers
Opening up to joy brings happiness in many forms. Joy is in my life all the time, along with grace, beauty, laughter, quiet humor, creativity and lots of fun. I treasure it all. And I’ve learned to tend to the joy-givers – be they animal, vegetable, or mineral – to maintain the mutuality.
Always, always, always keep learning
Keep learning, thinking, doing. Loving and trusting. Experiencing joy and having fun. Truths emerge and unfold. Life is rich, and can be that way as long as you wish.
And in case you missed it, Younger Self, sooner than you think:
- You can give up the negatives and the restrictions;
- You can grow strong yet flexible inside;
- You can simplify and clarify what matters;
- You can share your life deeply with others;
- You can give yourself a really happy life.
Best of All – It’s All Your Choice!
Guest Blogger: Carleen Bedwell was born in San Diego and raised in Santa Ana, California. The (sometimes) Super Woman became the first female department head for the City of Palo Alto while raising 2 boys with her husband. She later became a champion grant writer for municipalities in the California central valley until she retired at the age of 76. Currently, she resides in San Diego County, California where she does daily battles with hose eating squirrels and waist high weeds.
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